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High Fidelity
the reproduction of an effect that is very faithful to the original
recent ramblings 
12 30 11(no subject)
Reading back on all the entries I wrote here gives me a weird feeling.

It's a mix of enthusiasm and disgust. Sometimes shame too.
Like an "oh god, did I really write like that? Did I really write that much?" revelation.

I don't know why it was such a big part of my life before,
but with the amount of things that have been happening in my life, the limitations of electronic blogging, began to arise.

Too many things too share that cannot be shared.
Or perhaps, a need to differentiate myself from who I was before.

Maybe cause I actually do write now, sometimes, every week, to a mass audience.
Cause I have a byline, and I'm responsible for that now.

I have become more conscious about a public me.
Because I meet so many people every now and then, and I don't want them to google my name and find this.

I want them to google my name and find this: http://kasmira-simone.tumblr.com/
It's public me. Which means I try harder, by doing less.
I try harder to be cool, by being uncool.

I'm growing up and apart and I feel it.
Because reading my past entries, gives me the same feeling as when I look through my old diaries when I was 13.

It's awkward, it's sad.
I'm growing up.

I don't get the urge to blog now about my life and goals and dreams like I used to.
I'm shy.
11 06 11(no subject)
Goodbye LJ.

Nothing personal, it's just that no one really hangs around here anymore, yah?

See you on my twitter and tumblr instead.
10 11 11(no subject)
I need new sounds.

Everything I am listening to now is a reminder of moments that have
passed, and it’s painful knowing  I will never have them again. The
reminiscing is sick, and nothing feels right.

Time to make new soundtracks for new moments so I can look back on today and feel the same kind of nostalgia.


10 07 11(no subject)

My name in font size 8 may never be printed on finer paper than my first glossy ever, Rogue!
Thanks to YS editor @raymondangas.

10 05 11(no subject)
it's such a shame that there are privileged kids who go into UP,
and feel they are better than everyone else.

UP is supposed to keep you grounded, open your mind and make you feel anything but big.

but with you, you took it as a reaffirmation of your greatness.

i can see though your inferiority complex, even if you won't admit it.
it's masked with a great deal of pretension.
you don't have to put other people down to make yourself feel better.

judgy people are my ultimate pet peeve! 

but since you think of yourself so highly, i will do my part in making you feel anything but.
get ready for a dose of MY pretension! 
10 04 11(no subject)
this is the reason why I stopped writing on LJ.

my life got normal.

a certain someone popped into my life.
people stopped underestimating me.
i started proving people wrong.
i started earning respect.
great opportunities came knocking.
i went to new york.

aka my life got happy.

aka my writing turned to shit.

aka, you can't have everything.

when my writing or art gets better,
you'll know i'm channeling my emotions somewhere beautiful.
09 21 11(no subject)
Hannah Reyes&#8217; wonderful portraits of the Philippine Volcanoes rugby team plus the short story of our BRIEF (eh? witty!) encounter and how smitten I was with their big muscles, but bigger hearts.Article on Young Star here.<br/>I can&#8217;t believe this came from beer in Lour&#8217;s birthday with the girls, to idea for an article, to actually meeting them. Crazy!

Hannah Reyes’ wonderful portraits of the Philippine Volcanoes rugby team plus the short story of our BRIEF (eh? witty!) encounter and how smitten I was with their big muscles, but bigger hearts.

Article on Young Star here.

I can’t believe this came from beer in Lour’s birthday with the girls, to idea for an article, to actually meeting them. Crazy!

where did all my existential prose go?
all the uncertainty of the looming future and underscored emotional feelings i could freely write about before?

i don't know, it probably got lost alongside my thirst for cathartic music and cheap television.
got lost along with my daily diary entries and attempts at sketching, painting and making messy collages.

like most people, i got too preoccupied i guess.
other things in life got in the way.

maybe owe it to all the night spent with friends and beer,
with the boy,
eating in obscure or not too obscure places,
or worrying about graduating with honors just to say "aha!" to all the people who didn't believe in me.

all my existential woes were for this looming "future" i was so uncertain about,
and the funny thing is,
now that i'm here,
i still don't know many things.

in fact, i probably haven't grown much since the days i talked about "not knowing" or an "itch that couldn't be scratched".

up until last night, i was pretty sure i would never feel those things again.
until i wake up in the morning to make it to a 9 am working time do i realize,
"holy shit, i've totally gone full circle and i'm back to where i was before. unsure."

really, if we keep on putting off the things we really like, when will we ever get to the point where we take that leap of faith to pursue our little girl dreams?
does it have to reach total exhaustion, depression, or some other fiasco before we finally say, "okay, i'm just gonna do whatever the fuck i want."

sometimes i question where my fighting spirit went.

not that i've given up.
i like to say, and think, that i've got it all planned out.

sometimes we need to keep on fighting the good fight.

but sometimes, we also need to learn how to bow down and lay it all to experience.
i love learning. and this is only the beginning.
08 20 11(no subject)

Senate hearing regarding the creation of a Design Council of the Philippines.

In my head,
“Wonder what the DTI does.What is CITEM? So what happens at the end of this hearing?”

In Manny Villar’s head,
“What is Team Manila? What do you mean by gaming industry? How much can I steal from this funding basket?”

Read article for Young Star here!

i've had my share of personal tragedies.
i've reached the core of my catharsis--in the middle of the night, with no sound.

i like to think my heart is made of jello.
i also learned, sometimes, it is made of stone.

sometimes i like to burst into dance,
sometimes i just want to cuddle in bed and never be disturbed.
sometimes i like to be the center of attention,
sometimes, i feel the need to deactivate my facebook account.

wish i could explain why i am, how i am.
but i am a jumbled ball of emotions.
and sometimes i do not like to be untangled.

it's nice to be complex. i like it.
but maybe you do not like complex.

it should be simple, you said.
yes is yes, and no is no.

but no, i don't believe so.
there are lots of grays in between. nothing is as simple as it seems.
or maybe everything is, but i do not want them to be.
i am complex. i like it that way.
thank you, come again!